Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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