U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
