me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
