Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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