Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
