I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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