u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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