OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
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