I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Randomize