Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize