what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
