When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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