she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize