Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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