We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
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