Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
