I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
