I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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