Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Randomize