i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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