Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
