3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
