definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
