it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
