my phone needs a breathalizer
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
