Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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