why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
