sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Randomize
