How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Randomize