You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I got inside last night via doggy door
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
