and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
