Dual....:-)
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Randomize