What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
