We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
