I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
