Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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