This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
