it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
