Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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