i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
