Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
