he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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