ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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