can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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