My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
