some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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