our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
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