Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
