so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize