It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
