maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
my shit smells like andre
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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