dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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