How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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