Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
