My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
