oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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