Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
