I wish I only lived at night.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
