Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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