It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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