Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Come on in and take your pants off
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