whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
