I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Farmville is her only friend.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
