He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize