true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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