I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
