3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
